All posts filed under: Partnering

Every Argument Begins With The Second Sentence

One of our most valuable tools in relating to other people is the ability to argue effectively. And even before red-hot issues reach the level of an argument, there are steps we can take for handling conflict, including three necessary elements for reaching resolution. The […]

A Perfect Partner Isn’t Supposed To Be Perfect

My first husband and I divorced after eleven years. I believed that getting a divorce would end my problems with him. Big surprise! Divorce ended the marriage but not the problems. I took them with me and continued resolving them through other people. Divorce can […]

Deciding About Love

One evening more than three decades ago, Ron left the Haarlem hospital where he was a Resident and headed to Rotterdam for a Paul Winter concert in Sint-Laurenskerk, a gothic basilica from the 15th century. He didn’t know it yet, but he was rushing to […]

How To Get Our Partners To Care What We Want

One of my friends believes that her husband should have more photos of her on his social media site, and she feels bad about it. Her mistake is in thinking that those two things are connected, his action and her feeling, because attaching a feeling […]

3 Steps For Training Win-Win Relationships

One of my friends is stuck in a years-long pattern with his wife. She talks over him while he’s talking, especially in front of their friends. He can’t stand it and protests by saying, “I won’t put up with this! You can’t treat me like […]

20 Keys For Transforming A “Difficult” Relationship

“Difficult” relationships are about self-worth and self-love – ours, not theirs. We’ve set causes in motion, and we’re experiencing the results. So our problems aren’t originating outside of us. Our partners aren’t broken, and it’s not our job to fix them. Relating is similar to […]

5 Steps For Fighting Fair

Conflict is normal in relationships, and perfect compatibility only happens in fairytales. But knowing how to fight fair can lead us to a happy ending. The first requirement is a supportive environment. So we need to make two agreements right up front. First, that a […]

Finding Love Is An Inside Job

Soon after Ron and I met, when we were just becoming acquainted as friends, I felt nauseas one day. Ron’s a doctor, and he wanted to help. So he offered to stick his finger down my throat to make me throw up. “Wow!” I thought. “This […]

Love Is Like A Marathon

Our daughter-in-law qualified for the Boston Marathon by running in a local marathon, just making it, by an amazing three seconds! She was really hurting the last five miles. A stranger saw her and began to walk-run alongside her, subtly encouraging her. She could hardly […]