All posts filed under: Partnering

Our Perfect Partner Isn’t Supposed To Be Perfect

My first husband and I divorced after eleven years. I believed that getting a divorce would end my problems with him. Big surprise! Divorce ended the marriage but not the problems. I took them with me and continued resolving them through other people. Divorce can […]

How To Get Our Partners To Care What We Want

One of my friends believes that her husband should have more photos of her on his social media site, and she feels bad about it. Her mistake is in thinking that those two things are connected – his action and her feeling – because attaching […]

20 Keys For Transforming A “Difficult” Relationship

“Difficult” relationships are about self-worth and self-love – ours, not theirs. We’ve set causes in motion, and we’re experiencing the results. So our problems aren’t originating outside of us. Our partners aren’t broken, and it’s not our job to fix them. Relating is similar to […]

Finding Love Is An Inside Job

Soon after my husband and I met, when we were just becoming acquainted as friends, I felt nauseas one day. Ron’s a doctor, and he wanted to help. So he offered to stick his finger down my throat to make me throw up. “Wow!” I thought. […]

Every Argument Begins With The Second Sentence

One of our most valuable tools in relating with others is the ability to argue effectively. And even before red-hot issues reach the level of an argument, there are steps we can take for handling conflict, including three necessary elements for reaching resolution. The first […]

Love Is Like A Marathon

Our daughter-in-law qualified for the Boston Marathon by running in a local marathon, just making it, by an amazing three seconds! She was really hurting the last five miles. A stranger saw her and began to walk-run alongside her, subtly encouraging her. She could hardly […]

Love And Jealousy Can’t Coexist

One of my friends has a husband who adores her, and he’s loyal to his core. But she feels jealous and tries to control him. So he behaves cautiously. He avoids being alone with women and avoids talking to them in her presence. But because […]

Why Do We Experience Conflict?

If we’re on our second marriage, and it’s working well, and we’ve figured out some stuff and grown wiser, and we’re living a rich experience, we’re not likely to look back and wish that we’d made it work with our first partner. But we are […]

We Teach People How To Treat Us

We’re constantly training people in how to treat us. When we show them that a certain word or look from them will get a consistent reaction from us, we’re training them to use that word or look whenever they want that reaction. And when we’ve […]

15 Keys For Loving And Being Loved

In every interaction, whether we’re creating a special dinner or starting an argument, we’re searching for an opportunity to share love. Whether we love ourselves affects everything else in life, including our relationships, career, finances and health. Loving ourselves means not holding someone else responsible […]