One of our most valuable tools in relating to other people is the ability to argue effectively. And even before red-hot issues reach the level of an argument, there are steps we can take for handling conflict, including three necessary elements for reaching resolution. The […]
All posts tagged: Relationships
How To Get Our Partners To Care What We Want
One of my friends believes that her husband should have more photos of her on his social media site, and she feels bad about it. Her mistake is in thinking that those two things are connected, his action and her feeling, because attaching a feeling […]
3 Steps For Training Win-Win Relationships
One of my friends is stuck in a years-long pattern with his wife. She talks over him while he’s talking, especially in front of their friends. He can’t stand it and protests by saying, “I won’t put up with this! You can’t treat me like […]
“If You’d Change, I’d Feel Better.”
On a trip to Spain a few years ago, Ron and I landed in Madrid and went straight to the car rental desk, where the employee who was helping us looked at Ron’s full name on his passport and laughed out loud. Then she got […]
20 Keys For Transforming A “Difficult” Relationship
“Difficult” relationships are about self-worth and self-love – ours, not theirs. We’ve set causes in motion, and we’re experiencing the results. So our problems aren’t originating outside of us. Our partners aren’t broken, and it’s not our job to fix them. Relating is similar to […]
5 Steps For Fighting Fair
Conflict is normal in relationships, and perfect compatibility only happens in fairytales. But knowing how to fight fair can lead us to a happy ending. The first requirement is a supportive environment. So we need to make two agreements right up front. First, that a […]
Finding Love Is An Inside Job
Soon after Ron and I met, when we were just becoming acquainted as friends, I felt nauseas one day. Ron’s a doctor, and he wanted to help. So he offered to stick his finger down my throat to make me throw up. “Wow!” I thought. “This […]
“If You Leave Me Tonight, Do You Mind If I Come With You?”
Breakups are often heartbreaking, with inevitable feelings of pain and loss. We often want to hold on, even when it’s not good for us. Being with the person can seem more appealing than being alone. When a couple shares love, respect and kindness born out […]
Cross My Heart And Hope To Die!
When Ron’s daughter was ten, she walked into a local restaurant in our town in the Netherlands and asked the Greek owner whether he would sell her an over-sized wooden rosary that he’d brought from his homeland and hung behind the sales register. She knew […]
48 Hours That Will Transform Any Relationship
One of my friends keeps talking about leaving his wife. The two of them are great together when they’re good. But they stink when they’re bad, because each of them makes it all about the other. He spends a lot of time in stage three […]
10 Things Good Communicators Do Well
1. THEY MAINTAIN THEIR INTEGRITY Effective communicators know what their true intention is. And they hold that focus, instead of doing something else. Ron was an altar boy in the Catholic church from age seven to seventeen. Toward the end, he felt disheartened, believing that […]
Love And Jealousy Can’t Coexist
One of my friends has a husband who adores her, and he’s loyal to his core. But she feels jealous and tries to control him. So he behaves cautiously. He avoids being alone with women and avoids talking to them in her presence. But because […]
Grace de Rond 